Michael Bauser Is Losing His Mind
10. Career peaked early as senior shift cook at Big Boy.
9. Public service announcements made it seem like a good idea.
8. Newspapers are free here.
7. Needed Internet access.
6. Student discounts at the movies!
5. Just a desperate attempt to regain my wasted youth.
4. Girls in my hometown are ugly.
3. Financial aid more dignified than welfare.
2. Tired of Mom chanting "Get a job, college boy".
1. What else am I going to do with a B.A. in anthropology?
Filed at 03:02:54 AM EDT on 07 October 1993 from Kent, OH