Michael Bauser Is Losing His Mind
10. I could spit out the window on undergrads that annoy me.
9. New place to hide from my many creditors.
8. Think of it as a really big locker.
7. I don't like furniture that much anyway.
6. I am the Phantom of Lowry Hall. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
5. I could store alcohol up there and turn cigarette breaks during Dr. Prufer's class into beer breaks.
4. I'd get to tape stupid lists to the door.
3. My physician says stair-climbing is good exercise.
2. Believe it or not, it's bigger than my dorm room.
1. At least it would impress my mom and dad.
Filed at 03:06:48 AM EST on 20 January 1995 from Kent, OH