Three completely unconnected thoughts for Valentine's Day.

First thought: Hallmark has been running television commercials advertising an annoying pair of teddy bears that kiss. What's really odd is that they're advertising the damn things as "only $6.95 with the purchase of 3 hallmark cards." Why would I need to buy three Valentine's Day cards? What kind of player does Hallmark think I am?

Second Thought: Want to hear the best shoot-down line I ever got from a woman? "My parents would never let me marry someone who wasn't in one of the Abrahamic religions." No, really -- I got that one in a bar in Phoenix after telling a girl that I grew up atheist. Keep in mind, I'd just met her, and I was moving out of town the next day, so I wasn't really thinking about doing anything. I was just making smalltalk, but she still felt obligated to let me know I was unsuitable for her. Which is too bad, because showing off her vocabulary like that made her seem kind of hot.

Final Thought: It's more a question, but it's been bothering me for a couple of weeks now. If I marry a man in Massachusetts, then marry a woman in Ohio, how many states am I a bigamist in?

Posted at 11:31:15 PM EST on 14 February 2004 from Trenton, MI