Michael Bauser Is Losing His Mind
The free map of Ontario I ordered showed up in the mail yesterday. It's a nice map, as far a road maps go: A bit bigger than the average state road map, full of useful French phrases (Lord knows, without this map, I never would have guessed that "Parc Provencial" was French for "Provincial Park"), and showing just enough of Michigan that I'll be able to point to my hometown if I'm ever struck mute while across the border. All in all, a pretty good deal for a free map.
Now I have to decide which state is the next benficiary of my plan to make as many states as possible give me free maps. Logic (as much as logic can apply to an idiotic mission like this) suggests I continue to concentrate on the states bordering Michigan, since I'm most likely to be driving through one of them, even it's only to escape my creditors. I've already got maps for Indiana, Ohio, and Ontario, so my next logical choices are Illinois and Wisconsin. I like Wisconsin, but I don't have many reasons to go there since Gencon moved to Indiana. I dislike Illinois (and in fact, I hate Chicago, which is a story for another time), but I have an engaged friend living in Urbana, so I could use a map for when I attend the wedding.
But Illinois's website keeps timing out, and I really hate Chicago, so I'm ordering a map of Wisconsin tonight. In fact, I ordered two different maps, because they've got a special map they claim describes "63 Wisconsin attractions". I'm reasonably sure that there can't be sixty-three amusement parks or art musuems in Wisconsin, so I'm looking forward to discovering what kind of silly roadside attractions they would brag about up there. If there isn't at least one attraction involving a gigantic piece of cheese, I'll be sorely disappointed at their inability to live up to stereotypes.
Posted at 11:56:26 PM EST on 02 March 2004 from Trenton, MI