Michael Bauser Is Losing His Mind
When I applied for a job as a technical support representative at Godaddy Software in 2001, their staffing agency made me take some computer profciency tests. (Apparently, having been a search-engine optimizer wasn't enough to convince them I knew how to use a computer.) The strange thing was that I was applying for a job supporting domain registrations and webhosting services, but the proficiency tests didn't ask anything about the Internet. Instead, it mostly asked me about cutting-and-pasting in Windows, a few DOS commands (what employer lets their employees run CHKDISK themselves?) and what the parts of the computer were called.
What kind of people take computerized tests without knowing which part is the keyboard? Has anybody ever taken that test and been struck with the panicked thought "Uh oh -- I can't remember what this button-pushy-thingy is called! I'm in trouble now!"? So, anyway, I aced the test, got a job where I amazed my co-workers by having pre-existing knowledge of the domain name system, and got fired because I didn't meet the secret sales quota. Whatever.
In honor of that ridiculous experience, I took Brainbench's test for "Computer Fundamentals (Win 95/98)". It's more in depth than the test I took to get the Godaddy job, but earned the Master's Level certification anyway. Then, out of spite, I took the "Internet Concepts", and "WWW Concepts" tests and earned Master's Level certifications in those also. It's official: I was overqualified to work at a job I got fired from. This doesn't make me feel any better about it.
I also grabbed Master's Level certifications in "General Sciences" and "HTML 3.2" while I was at it. Taking a test in HTML 3.2 is a bit silly, in that nobody uses it anymore, and I never liked it (I thought HTML 3.0 was a better format), but I thought I figured I should take the HTML tests in order. Maybe I'll take HTML 4.0 and XHTML 1.1 tests tommorrow.
Posted at 11:48:57 PM EDT on 07 July 2004 from Trenton, MI