Michael Bauser Is Losing His Mind
I have no gaydar. (All of my friends, and many former co-workers, could vouch for this.) Maybe it's because I grew up in boring little Republican town where all the homosexuals had to be extra-deeply closeted. Maybe it's because I wasn't raised homophobic. Maybe I just don't pay enough attention to reality. Whatever. The point is, unless someone is going way out of their way to telegraph their preferences, I'm not going to notice.
The most infamous example of my failure to notice came during my brief employment with the Arizona Democratic Party. Several of us Democratic worker bees were sitting at a table, discussing random political issues while we did paperwork and bundled literature. Somehow the discussion gets around to my lack of gaydar. As I'm explaining how two different volunteers surprised me that morning by telling me they were gay, the volunteer sitting next to me interjects
You know, I'm gay.
Which led to one of my more laughable outburts that year --
Hey! Am I the only straight person here? I tell you, sometimes I'm completely clueless. Apparently, I was also clueless as to how many famous Republicans have gay daughters. Sure, I knew about Dick's daughter, and I read about Alan's daughter. But now, I've just read about Jesse's grandaughter, too. So, my new stupid question --
Hey! Are there any lesbians with Democratic parents?
Posted at 01:05:45 AM EDT on 29 October 2004 from Trenton, MI