Monthly Archives: February 2004

It’s a confusing day to be a teacher or an atheist, let alone both.

The Education Secretary says the teacher’s union is a terrorist organization. I’ve never been a school teacher, but I have been a test preparation teacher — that is, I taught high school students how to do better on the SAT … Continue reading

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I was Green for a day.

Back in the summer of 2002, when I was often protesting the inevitable invasion of Iraq, I was also working afternoons and evenings as a field staffer for the Arizona Democratic Party. One day, my supervisor, Kris, asked me if … Continue reading

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Today on Country Music Television: Homecomings and hookers!

I watched a bit of CMT today (and I need to emphasize “a bit”, because CMT is one of those channels I can only watch for about ten minutes before becoming really annoyed), and discovered Dolly Parton’s video for the … Continue reading

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Three unconnected thoughts from the grocery store.

My mother needed me to drive her to the grocery store today. Pointless things I noticed during the trip: During part of the drive to the store, we were behind a late-model Plymouth Neon. (2000 or 2001 model; I could … Continue reading

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Don’t shoot, officer, it’s just a blog!

One of the last jobs I held in Arizona before becoming unemployable was “security consultant”. In reality, all I did was sell home security systems door-to-door, but ADT wanted the job to sound important. Most of the days working door-to-door … Continue reading

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Three completely unconnected thoughts for Valentine’s Day.

First thought: Hallmark has been running television commercials advertising an annoying pair of teddy bears that kiss. What’s really odd is that they’re advertising the damn things as “only $6.95 with the purchase of 3 hallmark cards.” Why would I … Continue reading

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Caucus Day in Nowheresville.

I actually had trouble sleeping last night because I was too excited about today’s caucuses. I’m such a dork. I was wrong about my polling location being the recreation center where I’d applied for a job; it turns out voting … Continue reading

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Yeah, we love you too, Wes.

My mother, believe it or not, is a Wesley Clark supporter. (She’s got a thing for veterans. Long story.) She even wanted me to find her a Clark rally to take her to this week (after all, Michigan’s caucus is … Continue reading

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Dammit, I thought of that first!

I’ve been telling people for years that if I ever have a son, I’m naming him “Michael Bauser 3.0”. (No, really — my ODP profile still calls me “Michael Bauser 2.0”, and even though I haven’t had editing privileges there … Continue reading

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I’m voting for breasts and against terrorism.

The only thing I going to say about the Super Bowl: “wardrobe malfunction”. I’m going to remember that phrase for the next time I do something dumb and clothing-related like forgetting to zip up my fly. Anyway, I got around … Continue reading

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